Hey. If you got this link, it is legitimate, and it’s from me, Karma.
I wanted to give you an update on my life, on me and Ace’s life.
You don’t have to read it. It’s a bit depressing and tough, and long.

But I wanted to let you know how I am doing.

I'll just jump right into things.

I'm tired, I'm in pain, I'm stressed.

And by typing this, in some way, I guess I'm reaching out for help, for advice, for assistance.

This is difficult for me to talk about in some aspects. Asking for any sort of help or assistance is difficult for me. I’ve had I have a lot of trust issues due to individuals in the past who have taken advantage of me, or expected more then I have offered, or just were not as pleasant to deal with as I originally thought. I can go into the details, and while I am open to sharing my entire life story to others; now is not the time for a novel. I am just putting out what is going on over the past few years.

I'll just give a quick run-down of medical since I don't remember who I have told what, or who I am going to end up sending this to, and I feel like my life is an open book to you all anyways. There is a lot of medical and mental things mentioned in this, so I figured let's get this out of the way to start: (I listed only actual diagnosis, no 'internet diagnosis' stuff)

I am 37 going on 38 this year.

Mental: ADHD, PTSD/CPTSD, Anxiety, Depression

Physical: Cervical Arthritis, Lower Lumbar Arthritis, Left Leg Lymphedema, General Chronic Pain, Idiopathic Intracranial Hypertension, Obstructive Sleep Apnea, Urethral Stricture (surgery soon hopefully), Crowded Optic Disc, Astigmatism, Allergies, Insomnia, Lymphocytic Colitis, Ocular Migraines, Pericardial Cyst, Mild Eczema

Ace has had a sleeping disorder his entire life that makes him physically and mentally unable to go through a day without a nap and without feeling tired or exhausted. Some days, his focus isn't all there. Over recent years, he also started getting 'hand tremors' (these tremors may be affecting other parts of his body), though We are still seeing doctors and specialists to get an official cause and diagnosis. Basically, His hands will randomly spasm, shake, and lose control over what he is holding; and at random, He can drop things, fling things, and shake things, no matter the size or weight. It frustrates him so much and this affects everything he does; cleaning dishes, opening jars and cans, sewing and cutting fabrics, etc. He does his best every day despite his medical issues, and I love him so much for everything. I enjoy spending our days together.

Over recent years, I have been so overwhelmed by life, personal and business, that I have been struggling to be able to keep up on hardly anything. I have kept most of this to myself. only Ace knows the extent of this, and a handful of friends may know some extent of this. I'll be honest, I have forgotten who I have told what at this point.

Physical health is a lot more detailed then I tell folks. The basics is that I am in chronic pain daily and if I could, I would take pain meds every day to help. But I am not one to do so, I don't want to become reliant or addicted to medications. I also don't want the long term effects from any medications. I have many doctors helping now, but I am so used to the daily pain, I tend to mask it (hide it from others), ignore it unless it is very intense, and shrug it off. There are aspects of my body that are numb that I don't even feel physically anymore. Parts of my body will randomly become numb, as if that part is going to sleep. It could be for a few seconds, or minutes, or longer. I have gone through many, many tests to try and figure all this out, which is why I have such a long medical list of issues above. I've been to the Emergency Room and Urgent Care more times then I can remember, for more reasons than I can count, over the past few years alone. I was stuck with a few different kinds of catheter (yes, there are different types) off and on for 9 months in 2025, constantly in and out of the Urology clinic just to keep myself healthy and okay. And all the while this was going on, I was still working as much as I could, and even went on a business trip to sell at a huge convention. It has not been easy, not even close.

I want to walk you through a day in my life, as a sample.

Morning.

I usually wake up around 7:00-7:30 am, often before my 7:30 am alarm. I get out of bed to the sound of meowing, hungry cats and sometimes I will walk up the basement stairs to open our door, because it allows our cats to wander freely around the house. If I don't do this, the cats will be loud and fiesty with each other in the basement, and this could potentially wake up my partner Ace or I will get anixious with their fiesty levels with each other as they get hangry. Then, I get ready for the day as quickly as possible in the bathroom, because the cats inevitably come back downstairs to meow loudly and be fiesty until I feed them. (I cannot close the door, the cats are loud through that as well.) Part of my morning process includes medical compression socks for my leg lymphedema, which I try to do quickly because my foot is usually swelling, throbbing, and sometimes in pain if I do not do it quickly. When I am dressed and completely done in the bathroom, I go upstairs and let the dog outside, encouraging him to go potty and making sure there is no trash in the yard for him to eat (the squirrels in the neighborhood like to leave food and trash in our yard, and this could make him sick if he eats it). If there is trash, I have to quickly slip on shoes and rush out there with a disposable bag to scoop it up and throw it away. After my dog goes potty, then I feed all three animals; one cat is downstairs in the basement because he is older, eats slowly, and won't defend his food from the others. The other cat and the dog are fed upstairsm though I have to move quickly so I can monitor the other two on the main floor, so they don't eat each others food after one of them finishes. This is not easy for me, because when I wake up in the morning; it's a roulette if I am in pain or not, what part of my body is in pain/stiff that day, what severity of pain I am feeling, if there is anything I can do about it, and how long the pain will last (minutes, hours, all day, several days, weeks, etc). Some of the most common pain I am used to at this point is spinal/back pain and stiffness along with leg pain, as well as random body nerve pain and numbness. This limits me in bending over and lifting heavy objects most days, and I try to avoid sudden movements of any kind. After the cat and dog on the main floor have eaten and I put away their bowls, I am able to feed myself breakfast (we prep ourselves overnight oats that I can just heat up), take my morning medicines, fill up my water bottle, and pour my coffee. It's about 45 minutes to an hour later on average that I finally head to the workshop downstairs in the basement, where the older cat may or may not be done eating his breakfast yet. Ace usually is waking up around this time and will finish cleaning up this cats bowl. When I get into the workshop, I typically have a task set up for me from the day before or I have a schedule planned out, so I begin working right away. We have three main categories of work; custom commission, convention preparation, and computer. There is only Ace and myself working on this business, and we put it out there that anyone we know and trust closely as friends is welcome to assist us at any time, so we sometimes will get a friend helping out once in a while. Otherwise, we divide the tasks as best as we can between us both, giving us our strengths and preferences whenever possible.

Afternoon.

I work until 12 noon roughly, taking a half hour lunch, where I speedily prepare a quick lunch (typically a tuna wrap made of 1 slice cheese, a scoop of mayo, and a packet of tuna. or I make a deli meat sandwich made of 1 slice cheese, 4 slices deli meat, and a little bit of mayo. Both have a side with a tiny handful of chips and a small homemade smoothie that was pre-prepped). I scarf this down as quickly as possible, or I take it down and eat at my computer, working on misc computer things as I eat my lunch (I typed most of this during my lunches, late at night, or on my weekends). I watch the time very carefully; I complete my lunch and go back into the workshop until 3 pm. Ace has a medically diagnosed sleeping disorder, and is unable to stay awake all day; he usually naps around 1 pm. At 3 pm is when Ace comes to get me from the workshop so we can feed the pets a lunch and I let out the dog again. After this, about 3:15/3:30, I work until about 5, sometimes as late as 6. Then, I finally stop work for the evening.

Evening.

After work, the first thing I usually do is a chore or two. Laundry, scooping litter boxes, cleaning some aspect of our room/bathroom/main floor & shared space in the house, or sometimes I will extend my working hours on the computer for a bit by answering emails and messages, filling out paperwork forms, catching up on inventory, applying to conventions for selling vendor spaces, etc. Sometimes I lose track of time at this point, no matter if I am working or cleaning, since there is so much to do all the time and I feel like I am always behind on something. And sometimes, in more recent months, I just don't care anymore and just let tasks build up because I feel so overwhlemed by everything to get done.

After any chores/tasks are done (or I cannot focus on anything else anymore) I go for a shower, which is a combination of a painful process on my leg lymphedema but amazingly wonderful on my spinal arthritis, as well as soothing on other aches and pains I have from the day. After the speedy shower, I immediately reapply a clean set of medical compression socks, usually along with lotion. Typically it's 6-6:30 by now, so I head upstairs to grab our pre-prepped dinner to heat up in the microwave (if it's a Monday through Thursday). It's just heat up and eat, though all three of my meals daily for over a year now, I have to eat a few bites and drink a potassium supplement with it. So, I take a few bites, drink the potassium, then grab my food and water to go back downstairs to my computer station for dinner. This is so I can elevate my foot for a while, where I have set up a blanket and a pillow on top of two cardboard boxes under my computer station to aim for some form of comfort. If I were to sit upstairs at the dining room table, I have no easy way to be comfortable by elevating to resting my leg or back, so I typically just eat on the couch or downstairs. I try to decompress until 8 pm, avoiding any work or important mind-focusing tasks for the remainder of the evening, if possible. At 8 pm is when Ace and I feed the pets together for their dinner and I let the dog out once more. Sometimes, if either one of us have any energy left over from the day, we will play with the pets after they have eaten. It is also at this time that I take my evening medicines, have a small dessert, and make a cup of tea to sip on for the next hour or so. We both retire to the basement for the evening, and I once more elevate my foot, choosing either in front of the television on the bed in a leaning position by using extra pillows for support, or at my computer station with the boxes.

Bedtime.

At roughly 10-10:30 pm, then I am often too tired to continue and begin the bedtime process. Bedtime process is also a lot for me and tires me out even more. I start by filling up my cpap machine with distilled water, taking any remaining medications, and then proceeding upstairs one last time to let the dog out for one final potty break of the day. Ace and I then give the pets their small bedtime snack so they don't "starve" until breakfast the next day; though this alone takes about 10-15 minutes as we try to make the cats have some stimulation by hiding the snacks all over their climbing cat tree and stuff. Then I am able to brush my teeth (brush, water pick, swish) and finally, the last step is to switch out my medical compression socks for regular socks to let my skin 'breathe' overnight. I usually just lay down, set up my sleep music, put on my cpap, and pass out within 10-15 minutes. The bedroom lights are off/minimal and there is no noise while Ace stays up a bit longer, then he falls asleep around 11-11:30.

On different days...

On Sunday, after work ends around 5/5:30, Ace and I spend the next 1-2+ hours prepping and cooking dinner for Monday through Thursday. if we have any chores to do as well, then we just try to squeeze it in.

On Friday, we have appointments and errands to complete. I've had physical therapy for over 3 years and counting, Ace and I both have HRT shots biweekly, and then there is grocery shopping, as well as any chores or other errands that need to be completed. Usually, Fridays there isn't much rest and relaxation. We clean our cpap machine equipment and hang it to dry for a few hours in front of a fan sometime in the afternoon.

On Saturday every other week, we prep our overnight oats breakfast (takes roughly 1-2 hours), our trail mix snack (roughly 2-3 hours), and my fruit/protein smoothies (roughly 1-1.5 hours). We do this to reduce cost on groceries, since we are both applying for food stamps.

Every Tuesday, I have talk/psychotherapy for an hour.

I also have ketamine treatments (for chronic pain) that I go to that are 2 hours long each, not including the 'drive' time; and I am not allowed to drive to that appointment or afterwards that day.

And then we have more things on a regular and weekly basis too...

Normal chores for my back aren't always fun, though Ace helps out when I ask or whenever he can. Laundry, cleaning the bathroom, vacuuming, dusting, grabbing mail/packages, taking out the trash, etc. We have uncommon chores too; for example, 1-3 times per week we make a gallon of water with our distilled water machine, then scrub clean the interior of the machine later that day (this water is for our cpap machines and our humidifier).

There is also medical stuff we have to keep up on as well: I constantly have to move and stretch throughout the day, taking breaks every hour if I can. I have to do special lymphatic massages on my legs daily (I try to do these at night). If I am in higher pain, I apply the TENS/IF unit or the heating pad for 15 min, 30 min, or an hour at different heat settings.

Because of this daily cycle, the physical pain, the stress, the years of mental hardship, the push to try and move or stretch even just a little bit just everything... I am so very exhausted all the time. I wake up and struggle to get out of bed most days, despite 8 hours of average sleep. I lay back in my chair at work throughout the day, resting my body and eyes just for a few minutes. I try to relax for a few minutes when I can seize the opportunity, because my body and mind are just so unfocused, so shaky, so exhausted. I'm lucky if I have one, single, good energy day that is considered normal for most people; that day usually comes only once every other month or so.

I probably forgot a lot of stuff, honestly. I forget stuff all the time nowadays, depending on the day. Even simple things, I will stare at the fridge, holding a box of pasta and wondering why I am about to put it in there or what time it is, what day it is, just processing life. Did I feed the animals lunch? How did it already become May? I don’t remember if I added this detail to the costume that I was supposed to. This is just normal life right now, and I'm trying to figure it all out and keep my head above water.

Maybe you relate to this daily life schedule, maybe you think it's simple and easy. To me, this daily life is difficult, tiring, and an endless cycle that leads me back to where I find myself at every time I try to find a new way out of this.

What is this endless cycle that I mentioned? Every month, every several months, every year. At some point throughout, at random, I find myself stuck in the same situations. The situations are repeating quite often several times throughout the year at least:

Scenario one: we are struggling financially, in debt, barely able to afford needs to survive, and definitely not able to get anything fun or nice for ourselves.

Example: I look at our budget for the next 6 months, and notice we don't have enough money to make bills/rent/groceries to last beyond the next 3. So, I budget every little dollar we have, apply for a loan, try to get a few commissions over the next month while we currently tighten down on what we currently have. We stop spending any extra money on one nice coffee per a month, we don't let ourselves have anything we want, we don't eat out, we limit our grocery spending, etc. We put all we can into our work, trying to get more done so we can build up extra inventory to sell and get more commissions done so we have more availability to take on more commissions. It's not just tough, it's very hard and mentally draining, but we tell ourselves and each other repeatedly that it's just until we can get more finances in/until our next event, until we pay off our debts, until the economy gets better, etc. Leads to the next scenario.

Scenario two: I am unable to catch up on work, I am behind on work, I am unable to get work done because I am too tired or in pain to work, I am unable to get work done because I am too mentally upset to work, and sometimes I force myself to work extra (up to 7 days, 53+ hours a week) just to catch up on work.

Example: Well, scenario one didn't get us any money or not enough or we are paying it back or we are now behind from all the extra backlog. Something along those lines, and now that the financial stress is temporarily gone, we just have a lot lot LOT of work to do, and not nearly enough time to do it all. Also, because of medical issues both Ace and I have, we are not as fast as we used to be. Plus, the work and stress from scenario one made us both worn out and tired. Bonus, we had a backlog from the previous year of this scenario 1, 2, and 3 repeating. So we are both exhausted completely; just drained mentally and physically. But "Money doesn't grow on trees, I've got bills to pay, I've got mouths to feed, and nothing in this world is for free." So screw us I guess. Leads to the next scenario.

Scenario three: I get so overworked, overstressed, and overdepressed that I burnout and I just end up taking a break from everything for a while, and stuff gets neglected (from personal chores and personal care to work obligations and deadlines).

Example: We've done it so many times before; we worked 7 day workweeks, we worked one full week and weekend late into the nights and then tried the next weekend off, then back to full working mode again. We have worked ourselves to beyond the mental and physical breaking point many times, and maybe some of you have seen it. I definitely want to say that it's this overworking I've been doing since 2011 is why I have some or half of the medical issues that I do. I get so burnt out that I have no motivation for anything anymore; I don't enjoy my personal life or hobbies. I wake up and don't care if I do anything else, so I just work. I skip lunch until my stomach is growling ferociously and makes me so moody and hangry that I hate being around myself. I do everything as quick as possible just to get back to work, and even then I try to just get work tasks done quick as possible just to get it done, sometimes even sloppily. I just stop caring. I skip aspects of my personal hygiene; brushing my teeth gets super sloppy and I don't even water pick or swish, I don't bother with lotion, I skip shaving for days, I don't care about my sleeping hours, I skip scooping litter boxes for an extra day, or even more stuff. This can go on for a few days, weeks, months, and has been an off/on thing for years and years.

So, what do I do about these repetitive cycles?

I've talked to therapists about it (I am on number 7 or 8 I think. I really like this one, they are the best I have ever had, and I truly feel like I am healing at last.) Typically, I get depressed about it for a while. Then, I usually just end up either being depressed about it for a long while or I attempt to apply a new solution for a bit before I burn out and resort back to what I am familiar with. Sometimes I find something that works and is helpful, and we'll go along with that for a while until the scenarios repeat.

With my mental state over the past few years and my ADHD, I am often unable to focus on too much at once. Something that seems so simple, like filling out some paperwork or calling for an appointment or even cleaning the pet's water bowl or vacuuming our basement... these are all things that are too difficult for me right now. Everything is equally important, everything so small is adding up on our massive to-do list. I cannot keep up, I cannot remember everything or anything most days, and if anyone asks me for something or talks to me about something important, it might send me into a frozen state where I don't do anything and I can completely break down for the remainder of the day or a few days. I can focus on a few things that are deemed most important in life, and that's about it. If it's not about surviving, usually my brain will dismiss it. Making money so we can live, cooking food, taking care of my health, that's about it. I am working as much as I can on everything just to stay alive, to pay off debts, and I am trying to figure out a process where I cook as little as possible and buy as little food as possible but we still eat relatively healthy. We both try to relax when we can for our mental health. We take care of the pets. Cleaning our room is secondary. Everything else is not as important, and I put it to the side and it just hasn't been done. We are not fully unpacked from our move from last December and probably won't be when we start packing up next year for the next move. We barely finished last year's taxes by the deadline and I don't know how much we owe or when for what year or what state anymore. I haven't uploaded any photos off my phone or backed up my computer on my external in over a year. I barely talk or socialize with anyone outside of home. I have stopped going to furry events that I used to love attending monthly/bimonthly. I barely even keep up on the business and personal messaging channels that I host.

Ace and I have never been on a vacation.
Have you seen some fun photos of us? We were likely taking a short side-stop on a business venture, doing something free or cheap along the way that we could try to do. We try our best to live the lives that we have. It's not all sadness and depressing stories here. But I am definitely telling you all what's here, what's been going on.

We are engaged, but have very little funds to get a wedding ceremony together. So we didn't even plan yet.

We wanted to get our own house first before marriage, but right now, we can barely afford rent and bills and groceries.

I just got my first ever pre-owned car in November of 2023. I am still paying it off, and I have tried to get it refinanced. I have good/great credit, just not enough to apparently get this going. I have 3 to 4 years of high monthly payments left on this.

Ace and I have never had a master bedroom, we have always been in the basement of a home we rent with friends, or in an apartment where we have to use the main bedroom as our workshop (because of the space). We often share our bedroom space with our workshop; which is a stressful, constant reminder of what needs to be worked on and not yet done.

As for debts... we managed to get Ace's student loans lowered and paid off successfully after several years. We even started paying off a few previous years of taxes we had owed. We were on the right track for quite a while.

Last year and earlier this year, I have been exceedingly depressed to the point that I have had days I am struggling to do the simplest of tasks. I still sometimes do. My mentality is not what it used to be. I am trying, I have sought out help professionally. I have tried to subtly and bluntly let some close friends know that I need someone to talk to, someone to help us out or to reach out to me and check on me. Everyone seems too busy and focused with their lives, or don't seem to understand when I try to divulge more information, or don't ask me anything. i get it, I can barely remember to check up on anyone anymore, and I am too exhausted to engage in much conversation anyways. I’d just stare blankly, or probably repeat all of the stuff I’ve already said in the past or in this post.

In the past and occasionally now (when my brain can remember or I'm not completely exhausted or doing a hundred other things), I always gave and offered everything I had to anyone I deemed a friend or loved one. If you needed a ride and I was available, I did it. Didn't matter if it was in the middle of my work day. If you needed to rant or vent to me, I had an ear, even if I didn't respond right away, because I wanted to make sure I would be able to process and fully respond back to you wholeheartedly. I drove folks to errands, I treated folks to surprises, I checked in on them randomly just to see how they were doing, I wrote down everyone's birthday just to make sure they would be remembered on a special day even if I couldn't afford anything. I put my all into being friends with those I click with, even if I am weird, odd, awkward, or whatever. I'm just me, and yea I have a lot of flaws, but so does everyone.

Maybe I was naive, or too giving. So many people have walked away with a lot of my hard-earned money (hundreds or thousands), or taken advantage of my kindness, or broken my trust over the years. I've had folks I once treasured as friends, and I would treat them to meals, help them when they were in a tight spot, and wake up one day to find that the promise of them paying me back would never happen because they left without saying a word. Or folks who manipulated me into thinking they were amazing and fun to be around for years of friendship, only to suddenly one day never speak to me again without reason or warning. Or others who took my generosity at first, but then acted greedy after starting to help out in the business or just wasting everything I had to offer while being moody and rude to my face. I always gave everyone the benefit of the doubt; maybe they had a rough childhood, maybe they are having a bad day, maybe they need some time. But now, I think I need to stand up for myself. I've had a tough life, I've had horrible days, and I have definitely needed some time. And I have cut out a lot of folks from my life because I am done. I know friends and family have done things for us in the past, I remember and treasure those moments. Thank you for those time, those helpful days, those boosts of morale and whatever you may have done. It was truly appreciated.

Day to day, I smile. I mask and pretend I am okay. I autopilot and say "Yea, I'm fine. I'm good. Things are cool." I try to make others smile, so they can focus on their lives, their stress, their own ups and downs. Friends have enough to worry about. But I am slipping, and I cannot handle everything anymore. I need help from anyone who is able to; even just small bits of advice or whatever they are good at.

So now down to those fun little questions that I have gotten in the past, mostly from those not super close to my situation. But I am tossing them down just in case.

"Why didn't you say something before?"

This is very. VERY. hard for me. This was hard to type, not to mention it took me several individual days spanned across minutes and hours. Plus editing because I like to make sure my spelling and grammar are decent. But also mentally and physically as well; I have to be able to pull out my emotions and hand them over on a piece of paper for folks to read. And then be prepared for whatever comes next. I also have to sit in a computer chair and type for a while, while isn't always super comfortable for me.

"Why don't you look for a better paying job/career?"

Oh man. This question bugs me, and whether or not folks will ask, it matters not. I bet it's gonna be on someone's mind, so here goes. First, yes, it seems like a great idea at first. I've questioned it myself over the years, and done the research. What if I/we just go get a normal paying job that'll get us paycheck every two weeks.

Our business pays more, for starters. If we didn't have our debt or backlog, we'd be making $30 or more per hour while working less then 40 hours per week.

Also, with both of our medical issues, working from home is the best option to take care of ourselves when we have issues or pain. If Ace needs to take his nap, I doubt McDonalds will allow him to set up a pillow in the break room. Or if my foot starts to swell and I need to elevate it for 15-30 minutes, I don't think any company is going to be too pleased with an extra lunch break.

If we put aside our business, either temporarily or completely, we would have to refund some/all of our existing custom commissions, which would just add to our existing debt.

We have also discussed both of us or just me having a part time job with the business. Also not very viable, as I am already exhausted with just day to day life, and any part time jobs in current existance and in the area are not high enough pay to warrant exchanging out time in our workshop for.

I dove deep, deep down the rabbit hole of jobs and careers, as far as I could go for "Can I work a job that will support me and Ace, allow Ace to work the business and stay home, and I can make a good amount of money, and I can do the job safely with my medical issues or the job will support my medical issues?" The long question led to hours of research. There is not a lot of jobs, most require college (more debt, yay), most are a fight to get in, those jobs are not one I feel would fit my intelligence level/interest, and the very few I narrowed down to would likely move us out of state or wouldn't be a secure position for a long-term career or pay enough. Long answer made short... no.

"Have you considered moving somewhere cheaper?"

We have. We would consider. There are currently no offers or options. Colorado has a great Medicaid/Health First program that is our health insurance. It covers most of our medical expenses, including emergency room, my weekly physical therapy, our biweekly shots, our surgeries, any mental therapy, most medications, etc. It also has a Food Stamp program we have recently applied for. Colorado is currently one of the safest states for us in this political climate as well. We have alot of our friends here. We host board game nights where we live and enjoy that time with friends. It is a good central state for our business roadtrips to events we sell at throughout the country.

"What are you most worried about?"

On a day to day basis; getting our massive backlog of work done. paying rent. Trying to keep up on every little thing.

On a long-term basis; paying our tax debts. Getting a place to live for me and Ace for the rest of our lives, a place to call home.

"Are you safe?"

Yes. I am not suicidal, I am not in any harm from myself or anyone around me at this time. If anything, as of this month, April 2026, I am doing a lot better slowly with my physical and mental therapy, and life seems to be on the up. I feel happier then I was the last few months, and I am in a much, MUCH better place then I was last year. I have Ace who would update anyone if I was in danger. I have two to three people I would immediately contact if I was ever in trouble. I apologize if it's not you, my life has been crazy and I just know who I have been able to immediately rely on over the past year or two.

Well.

I think this is all I wanted to say, for now at least.

I'm not tired, I'm beyond exhausted.

If you haven't heard from me in a while, now you know why.

I've got professional help, and constantly getting more as I need it.

I guess, this is also a little note of me just reaching out saying... please check on me once in a while. I get lonely very easy. And right now, for several years, I feel like there is very few people, friends or family, who actually care about me anymore. For the days I am fighting my physical pain and mental, it's even tougher. So to see a kind message once in a while, a silly picture, or whatever... it just shows that you remember me, and that means a whole hell of a lot. (just... don't message me every day please, that would be a bit too much!)

Heck, if you want to help out in any way, please let me know. We’ll take anything we can get.
Now, if anyone has anything to offer, I need your help. Or whatever you want to offer.

If you have needed something from me, I will need time or constant gentle reminders so I don't get overwhelmed or upset. Thanks for understanding.

Because I am here, just existing. We are just trying to live life. Trying to get better every day.

Thanks for listening.